Important 'flare up' reframe

Healing isn't linear.

We hear it time & time again.

But yet there is some false perception being put out in to the world that each flare up should get easier, even if it is just a little.

After working with 00's of people on their healing journey & experiencing CFS myself, I can confidently say this is not the case.

Of course, over time, we expect to see flare ups to improve in some way. Whether it's the distance between them, the severity of them, or duration of them. But that won't ever be obvious to you in the moment.

Maybe in hindsight but rarely when you are in it.

For a period of time 'improvements' wont be tangible or physical.

It may be your ability to ask for help, or ground your self a little faster, or realise you are in survival mode a little sooner, diffuse form your thoughts a tiny bit faster that are the improvements...(this is why focussing on 'wins' outside of symptoms is imperative)

But it will likely feel the same as it did last time, at least for a while. 

I could even argue that as time goes on, it can actually feel harder because you come so far / get a taster of 'normal' & then a flare up can really knock the wind out of your sails...on more than one occasion I have seen this be emotionally devastating for people (unless you work with me ofc - the benefit of having a coach is having someday to support you through these times & believe in you when your doubting yourself)

When you feel unsafe in your body (i.e experiencing a flare) remember, your brain is detecting a threat.

You will have black & white, catastrophic thoughts.

& it will feel just like it did at the start...even though there is no way you can go back in time to the start. You can't unlearn all the things you have, or take away all the practices you have done, or the moments of peace & healing in between flare ups...they don't get eradicated.

If you expect yourself to manage each flare up better, or indeed feel a bit better each time...you are setting yourself up for failure, self criticism & doubt (a lot of doubt).

Doubt is fatiguing in itself.

If you can be more prepared for these times, you will save a lot of energy.

So remember...

• Feelings are not facts.
• When you experience a flare up it doesn't have to be 'easier than the last' to mean you are improving. Progress starts outside of symptoms. (I know it sucks).
• Your brain will send you catastrophic thoughts when you feel threatened in your body, knowing this will help you realising when its happening & get some space.

Sky x